Of course, the whole point of this blog is to share stories of motherhood and what it means to me, in hopes of allowing other mamas to try to connect to something I’ve written somewhere along the way. Before having a baby, I honestly thought the amount of mom blogs out there was somewhat ridiculous and they all seemed a bit redundant. But now, of course I am one of those ridiculous mamas who feel they need to share their life online, to the rest of the blog readin’ mamas out there. That is the glory of blogs anyway, is no one has to read anything if they don’t want too!
Every mama gets loads of unsolicited advice when she is pregnant and most of it goes in one ear and out the other. Because really, we all have our master plan of how we will parent already planned out in our anxiety ridden minds anyway. At least I did. Actually, I was planning out what kind of parent I would be far before I was ever pregnant anyway, let’s be real about this. But the advice I received, as I am sure my husband did too, is the advice every veteran parent tells a newly expecting parent and that is how your life will forever change. And boy did it. But I’ll get to that in a moment.
Before I was ever pregnant, I swore up and down I was going to be this healthy, fit, cute pregnant person who worked out all the time ( I started and quit cross-fit within two weeks of finding out I was pregnant) and never worked out again while pregnant. Ok, maybe I went for two walks and did the downward dog a total of three times. I threw that working out thing out the window thanks to being on my feet 9 hours a day at my retail job. Since I was on my (super swollen) feet all day I was FAR too exhausted to work out once my morning sickness finally wore off at 11 or 12 weeks. Then in the end I was so huge that my husband had to literally grab my hands and pull me up from the couch when I wanted to get up. Pathetic huh? Well, I didn’t care. I was basking in my 55 pound weight gain and loving my huge belly that held many things such as crackers and cheese or my lap top.
Besides the whole fit pregnant thing going out the window, I also had this envision pre-pregnancy that I would treat my body like a temple and never put any food inside of it that was filled with artificial ingredients, preservatives or the like. That I did pretty good on. I even convinced my doctor to let me do the jellybean test for my glucose test because I refused to drink the glucose drink. Why? Well after much research on the actual drink itself, I was pretty horrified at some of the ingredients in it and that these drinks are being distributed to pregnant women to ingest. Yes, I know everyone drinks them and they are fine, but I am one of those paranoid freaks. So I chose the jellybean test which seemed the lesser of two evils. Anyway, I was pretty good on the whole nutrition thing except for my damn sweet tooth! That, was why I gained 55 pounds. That and the fact that I delivered a 9.6 lb child. That is all I will say about that.
Back to the whole reason for this post. Every expecting parent gets told time and time again that their lives will change and of course for the better, and that you can’t imagine your life before your little one. That is all true. What they don’t tell you is how you as an individual, will change. Some of what you thought were your deep-seated personality traits that you thought were a lifer, actually change. Your beliefs actually change, even your goals in life change. Everything you thought you knew about yourself, totally changes.
Motherhood has made me extremely patient, when my whole life, I have been pretty impatient which has caused many rash decisions that I have made that always haven’t been the best decisions. Like deciding to just up and move to Colorado within a month time-span after graduating college. Only to move back to my hometown 11 months later. Sorry Mom and Dad, that one was a bit costly. Motherhood has also opened my heart and my mind. Not that I was a cold you know what before hand, (some people may beg to differ) but being a parent makes your mind open to more things than previously. You also become more relatable in more ways, therefore broadening your connection to more people.
While motherhood has made me a few of these things like more patient, more willing to put myself out there, or, “getting out of my comfort zone” as my husband is always touting me on. It has also not made me a few things. It hasn’t made me more tolerable. As I have always been the person to not tolerate the B.S. well, being a mom has even made me less tolerable to that and just overall unnecessary drama. Of any kind. Being a mother makes you finally realize what is important in life and it makes you not tolerate certain things because they just aren’t important. I won’t give examples BUT, I will say, some things you just have to wash your hands of and not give a hoot about!
Being a mama hasn’t made me clean up my potty mouth however and I am making an honest effort to do so. Old habits die-hard though but I certainly don’t want my baby’s first words to be that of a sailor.
Ultimately, what motherhood has made me and will do to any mama, is make her more loving, protective, instinctual, and motivate you do make the best decision possible when it comes to her little one. I can guarantee that your “love tank” will never feel empty again once that little one is in your arms for the first time.