It’s been exactly one month and three days since I’ve written a blog post. It’s also taken me one month and three days to realize trying to be a mama and to do it all at the same time occasionally makes you want to lose your shit.
I’ve watched the viral videos circulating social media about mamas losing their shit on a daily basis. Fortunately I am not to that point. Yet. Really though, with every new phase comes transition and that’s really what this post is about. When multiple phases happen at once however, it will surely test your sanity and make you realize what’s a priority and what isn’t. Funny how becoming a parent really puts most things into two categories: what is important and what isn’t. Like eating dinner. Not really a priority anymore. Maybe one day.
It’s been one month and three days since I’ve written a blog post because as I transitioned out of maternity leave, I also transitioned into a new job. And my sweet little babe transitioned from sleeping 7-8 hours straight every night to frequent night wakings all in the same week. It’s like he knew that I was starting back to work so he decided to figure out how to make me as tired as ever. So needless to say, learning the ropes of a new job while being back to the sleep deprivation phase of having a newborn, causes for some major delay in blogging.
As many of you mamas have experienced, going back to work after maternity leave will really test you as an individual. Unless you are jumping at the bit to go back, but that wasn’t me. As the weeks closed in to the end of my leave, I realized I couldn’t go back to my former job of over six years. I had anxiety, I felt dread, I felt that there was no possible way I could leave my little babe who I had spent every single day and night with since he was born.
I also feared change more than anything but knew in my heart that I had to make one. I thankfully found a new job being able to stay in the industry I love and to be able to work from home while doing so. I knew the stars had aligned and this is what I was supposed to do. However, with any job no matter where you physically work, having a baby at home will certainly test your strength. Waking up exhausted every morning is certainly not fun as every mama who has been through this will agree. But to wake up exhausted and knowing that you have to get yourself ready for the day, your baby changed, fed, changed again, the dogs fed, let outside and then somehow not forget to feed yourself? Will make you want to lose your mind. Oh and try and throw in a pumping session in the mix too. All before 8:30 am.
Again, multi tasking ain’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t until my sons nanny walks through the door and I breathe a silent sigh of relief. Not because I want to hand my baby over but because I have one more morning down in the books. Hoping one day I will be able to feel like I haven’t just run a marathon all before I have to sit down and start working for the day.
I told my husband a few nights ago that if I actually had to leave the house to go to work, I would have quit after a week. I commend all you mamas out there making the trek to work in the morning because I am barely handling it when my work commute involves walking downstairs into my office. To only imagine toting my breastpump to work every day and having to pump multiple times a day outside of the comfort of my home would have been enough to end breastfeeding for me. So for all you mamas out there doing just that, you all are much stronger than I.